I've always been known as an emotional character, who cares like crazy for the people close to my heart. To others, I might just slip by without a word or even a glance, unaware that I even did that.
I've wondered if being emotional and attached is wrong. My best friends have advised me to draw that line between any relationship and that it would hurt otherwise, Yeah, it sure has hurt and it still does.
But have I changed over the years, no. I don't think I ever can. Along the way I've made a mistake over and over again. The mistake of thinking that if I bleed my heart out people would return it. And the outcome has always been heartbreaking.
Today I found a long lost treasure that finally hit it deep into my heart and head that no one could probably be like me. Because I'm crazy, and to be frank, I'm not disappointed.
I'm a kid of the 80s and I believe myself to be lucky. For I did not belong to an era of mobile phones or internet. I was born into a world of heart touching handwritten and posted messages.
This here is what I found today, my entire collection of cards and letters I once received from friends and family. I went through the pile, felt my eyes moist and knew right then that I had to blog about it.
Some of the cards and letters in there were those received after a long wait, replies to mine. Some were Get Well Soon cards, personalized and handwritten. Today we hold our mobiles in hand with Facebook and Whatsapp and go through everything else, except send a caring message. We forget those who are waiting for that because there's so much more we need to finish doing.
Some of the handmade cards are from friends/classmates and it's going to shock them that I have it still. Because since school the contact has been out of the question. I wonder if they even remember. Some are letters from friends/cousins.
Oh and there's also a couple of letters from Uncle Pai, replies to my attempts at contributions to Tinkle.
Now I know, no two individuals can be same, nobody thinks alike, different generations understand things in different perspectives, its insane to expect somebody to think like you, you are born alone and you have to stand on your own and for what you believe in. When people judge you its because you don't think like them. Your emotions, your problems, they are your own. Sharing is good but there are things to be understood even without you saying it aloud. Long back was it possible for you to text or call up a dear one and ask them to reply. It was all hope, bonds were stronger. Happiness is in people being with you and understanding you because they want to, not because you need them. What has to be with you, what has to be yours, will always be. So let go of that thread of the kite you are holding on to. If its yours you will find it some day.
Now I know.